Self portrait – Helena’s death

In this troubling self-portrait Milos expresses his distress, helplessness and profound grief following the sudden death of his lifelong partner Helena. His gaze stares into an uncertain future, not the least due to the fact that he himself had just recovered from a successful cancer operation. Towards the end of his own life, he made an important number of self-portraits in the form of small pencil sketches (see sketchbook no. 1) in which he very crudely faced his own physical and mental demise.

Very shortly before the great exhibition of his work at the Centre d’exposition de l’Université de Montréal between January 17 and February 14, 2002, Milos had a light stroke which temporarily paralyzed his short-term memory. At the evening of the vernissage, he could not remember the names of his friends who came to the opening although he recognized them without any problem. Michèle and Renata Hochelber, his old friend and equally an emigree from Prague, assisted him during the evening by whispering discretely the names of everybody who came to greet him personally into Milos’ ear.

Milos shot himself on Saturday March 2, 2002.

– WN